Saturday, November 30, 2019

SURROUNDED BY THE LIVING DEAD

December 4th is just around the corner.

Why should you care? Well, December 4th is when my new book, Then a Penguin Walked In and Other Tall Tales, hits the digital shelves for $4.99. But you can preorder it now for just $2.99!

This book collects four novellas into one volume. Three of them I wrote a number of years ago, one of them is new, and I'd like to use this time to talk to you about it. In fact, I'd like to provide you with a bit of a preview.

Going through the book, the four novellas, I wanted to share with you one chapter from each. Not the first chapter from each, as some previews do, but some of my favorites.

Today I have something for you from the third story to appear in the collection: The Undead of the Night. This is Chapter Twelve: Hatching the Plan.

TRACEY LOVED ZOMBIES. MOVIES, television, books, comics, the media didn’t matter. If there was a zombie or two involved, she consumed it.

Yet now, as she took her place behind the counter, watching the creatures beyond the glass, living one of the stories she had immersed herself in time and time again, she thought she might want to give mysteries a try. Maybe even romance.

Regardless, she was done with the zombie genre.

“The plan is simple,” Norman said as everyone stood around the counter. “I’ll go out the back door and make my way to the pumps. By then, Tracey will have one of them running.” He looked to Tracey.

“Pump Four,” she said. It’s closest to the creatures out there.”

“Pump Four it is,” Norman said. “I’ll soak the shufflers in as much gasoline as I can. I mean, once they realize I’m out there, they aren’t gonna give me that long, but I’ll do my best. Once I’ve done what I can, I’ll drop the nozzle and run. That will be your queue, Tracey, to turn off the pump.”

“Got it,” Tracey said. “Though I can’t quite see the pumps over the barricade.”

“I’ll be your eyes,” Connie said.

“What do I do?” Emily said. The little girl had woken just minutes earlier and had been listening silently as the grown-ups made their plans.

“You’re with me,” Connie said. “My eyes aren’t as good as the used to be so I’m going to need you, sweetie.”

Emily glowed.

“Okay,” Norman said with enthusiasm. “Connie and Emily are making themselves useful. But, we need someone to start the fire.”

“I can do it,” said Doctor Gilkey.

“Oh no you will not,” Connie said.

“I need to do my part,” he said. “I’ll be okay.”

“You are going to stay right here,” Connie said. “With me. With Emily.”

“She’s right,” Dan said. “You aren’t going out there. You got that little girl to think of.” He turned to Norman. “I’ll go.”

“Me too,” Luke said.

“No you’re not,” Dan said. “You’re gonna stay in here and let me do this on my own.”

“Not gonna happen,” said Luke.

“It only takes one person,” Dan said.

“What if you die out there?” Luke said.

“I won’t,” said Dan.

“But what if you do? Dan,” Luke looked down for a moment and cleared his throat. “You’re my best friend, man. We’ve known each other since kindergarten. If you don’t make it—”

“I’m gonna make it,” Dan said.

“But if you don’t,” Luke said. “How am I supposed to go on knowing that I stayed inside? What am I supposed to tell your mom?”

“Luke—” Dan said.

“No,” Luke interrupted him. “I’m going with you. We’re doing this together. That’s all there is to it.”

Dan smiled. “Okay, you’re the boss.”

“Damn right,” Luke said.

The two then engaged in a rather intricate handshake that Tracey couldn’t quite follow.

“Okay then,” Norman said. “That’s settled. Dan and Luke will bring the fire. We have matches in the store, I presume?” Norman asked Tracey.

“I can do you one better,” Tracey said. “How about a pair of road flares.

“Those will do nicely,” Luke said. “But maybe we should each take two, or three. You know, for backup.”

“Good call,” Norman said. “Connie, Robert, and Emily. Once you see me drop the nozzle and you let Tracey know, the three of you head out the back door and go straight back, as far as you can go. You’ll either hit the barrier, or you won’t. If the barrier is down by the time you get there, you just keep going. Adam will go with you.”

“I can’t move fast, but I think I can fire a gun while on crutches if need be,” Adam said.

The three nodded.

“Tracey, once you’ve shut off the pumps, you follow them out.”

“Got it,” Tracey said.

“Dan and Luke, you’ll go out back with me. I’ll go west, you go east. You hang back and watch from behind the east front corner of the building. Once I’ve dropped the nozzle, you two make your move with the flares.”

“What if we can’t see you?” Dan said. “There’s gonna be a lot of those things out there. I don’t want to throw a flare while you’re still pumping gas.”

“Good point,” Norman said. “Okay, how about this. Once I’m done, I’ll drop the nozzle then fire three shots into the dirt.”

“If you’re going to do that, then there’s no need for me to watch you and tell Tracey when to shut off the pumps,” Connie said.

“Another good point,” Norman said. “Okay, slight change. Here’s what we’ll do.”

But, as Norman went through the plan once more, Dan cut him off.

“Why can’t Luke and I just come around with you?” Dan said. “I mean, what’s the point of us going east while you go west.”

“Well,” Norman said. “I don’t know.”

“Have you ever done anything like this before?” Tracey asked.

“Look,” Norman said. “I never said I was the best when it came to strategy. Me, I prefer just jumping in feet first with both pistols firing.”

“Okay,” Adam said. “But that’s not going to work here, is it?”

“You got a better plan?” Norman asked.

“I’m sure if you give me a moment I’ll come up with something better than what you keep pulling off the top of your head,” Adam said.

“Will you two shut up,” Tracey said. “This is what we’re going to do.”

Tracey went through the plan. She’d taken most of what Norman had come up with already, she just made it better. When she’d finished, everyone had agreed that her plan was sound.

“You’re going to be okay in here by yourself?” Adam asked as the rest made their way to the back door. “I can stay if you want, go out with you.”

“I’ll be fine,” Tracey said. “You look after them. I won’t be too far behind.”

“You sure?” Adam said. “I don’t feel right leaving you behind like this.”

“Go,” Tracey said. “You’ll just slow me down.” She smiled.

Adam smiled back, patted her once on the shoulder, and hobbled on down the hall. She knew how he felt about her, and he was sweet, good looking even, but his breath…

She could always carry mints or something. The thought made her smile even more as she followed the group to the back door.

Once they were all out, she locked up behind them and then took her station at the counter. She turned on Pump Four. She put in a prepaid amount of a hundred dollars. She didn’t think Norman would need to pump that much, but she felt it better to have more and need less then need more and have less.

Now all she had to do was wait.

She couldn’t see the pump through the barricade, but to the right, she saw movement outside the window. Sure enough, it was Norman moving in.

There was nothing for a moment, but soon she heard the muffled sound of someone shouting out there in the lot. A feeling of dread seeped into her. Who had shouted? Was someone in trouble? She was about to climb onto the counter to get a better view when the living dead turned as one and moved away from the building.

For just a moment she thought about running up to the glass and looking out at the lot. She didn’t like that someone had been out there shouting. It was wholly unexpected and filled her with worry, but as she stood there stuck somewhere between action and inaction, a gunshot sounded outside. Her queue to move.

She shut down the pump and ran to the back. As she reached the door, slid the key into the lock, and pulled the door open, she heard a second gunshot, followed by a third and a forth. That wasn’t part of the plan. Something had gone wrong. She didn’t have long to think on it however. As Tracey stepped out into the night, something struck her on the back of the head and everything went black.

You can preorder the book now for your Kindle, Nook, or any other device by clicking the cover below, or going to penguin.steevenorrelse.com.


Friday, November 29, 2019

JAF EP058: COFFEE TALK




I recorded this episode minutes after watching Chapter 3 of the Mandalorian, so you know I gotsta talk about it. Fear not however, there are no spoilers. Other topics in this episode include the joy of not working two jobs during the holiday season, the love of iced lattes, and stressing over numbers.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

More stuff:

The theme song used in each episode is Night Drive by The Oldfield Victory. Find them and their music at theoldfieldvictory.bandcamp.com

Want to help support the show? You can do that in a number of ways:

First, just spread the word. Tell a friend, tell two friends, tell your father, mother, sister, brother, neighbor, coworker, plumber, and even the guy or girl who cuts your hair.

Beyond that you can support Steeven and the show for as little as a dollar a month on Patreon: www.patreon.com/steevenrorr

Or, if the idea of a monthly payment doesn't appeal to you and you just want to throw the show a one time payment, visit ko-fi.com/steevenrorr and buy Steeven and the show a coffee for as little as $3, but as high as you want to go.

Ask me questions, tell me stories, lie to me, speak your truth, make suggestions, or even complain right here: feedback@steevenorrelse.com

Just Another Fanboy is a proud member of the Comics Podcast Network. Find it and more great comic book podcasts at comicspodcasts.com

Thursday, November 28, 2019

BLACK FRIDAY IN SLOW MOTION

December 4th is just around the corner.

Why should you care? Well, December 4th is when my new book, Then a Penguin Walked In and Other Tall Tales, hits the digital shelves for $4.99. But you can preorder it now for just $2.99!

This book collects four novellas into one volume. Three of them I wrote a number of years ago, one of them is new, and I'd like to use this time to talk to you about it. In fact, I'd like to provide you with a bit of a preview.

Going through the book, the four novellas, I wanted to share with you one chapter from each. Not the first chapter from each, as some previews do, but some of my favorites.

Today I have for you a chapter from the second story to appear in this collection: Fanboys of Doom. This is Chapter Five: Escape.

THE WORLD STOPPED SPINNING. It felt like an eternity as I stood there frozen, left hand on the door knob, right hand holding the Glock, the curse of all curses hanging there above me like a fecal encrusted brick. All five shufflers turned to me as one. Bones creaked. Skin stretched. The mood in the room shifted from the idle browsing of a window shopper to the animalistic fervor of a Las Vegas all you can eat buffet.

Oddly enough, the shufflers seemed almost surprised to see me, which must have been why they didn’t come at me right away. I stood there looking at them, and they stood there looking at me. I’m not sure how long the six of us could have continued in such a fashion, but being one who values the life that God gave me, I broke the tension with a quick shot to the zombie nearest me. It was a woman in what would have once been called a power suit, and she went down lickity-split. Before she hit the floor I popped off four more shots. All four connected, but only three were head shots. It took two more to clear the room. Seven shots in under four seconds. Five shufflers lying still on the gray carpet.

I felt pretty good about myself.

Then I noticed the zombies on the other side of the glass.

Out on the sidewalk I could see dozens of them, with hundreds more in the lot behind. And I had their complete and undying attention. Yes, that pun was very much intended.

I holstered the Glock and turned back to the locked door. I threw myself into it only to bounce off with a curse. I looked back toward the entrance to see the shuffling mob bottlenecked at the broken front window where I had come in. That would slow them down for now, but it wasn’t going to last but a few more minutes before the sheer weight of them brought the entire front wall down. At that point I’d be up to my neck in biting teeth.

Panic set in. I kicked and beat at the door, but it just wouldn’t open. Three zombies had made it into the store and were shuffling my way while the others struggled to pull themselves through behind them. I ran toward the three shambling creatures, coming within inches of their outstretched and rotting hands. Then, before they could get a piece of me, I turned and sprinted back to the door and slammed into it. Wood splintered and the door banged open, spilling me into the hallway.

I pulled myself to my feet and ran to the outer door at the end of the short hallway, flicked the locking mechanism on the knob to unlock and threw open the door. A shuffler fell in, knocking me to the ground. It lay atop me, biting and clawing. Bastard must have heard the commotion and had been trying to push its way in.

I’d managed to get my arms between the two of us as we fell and it was all I could do to keep the thing’s biting teeth from my face. The zombie’s stinking breath had its way with me and it was then that I noticed something wrong with its face. It was hard to spot at first through the decayed flesh that hung off the creature’s skull, but I’d quickly realized that its face was red. The moment after that realization hit me I could see that the red was actually face paint. Pushing the thing back with all my might I could then see that the zombie’s face had been at one time painted up to look like Spider-Man. I could only hope that the painting had come before the creature had been turned, otherwise the human race had some kind of deranged face painter on its collective hands.

I pushed against the shuffler and had nearly thrown if off of me when another waddled in through the back door and joined in on the dog pile.

I rolled one way, then the other. The momentum tossed the newer creature off of me, but I still had the original to contend with, and his buddy wouldn’t stay down long. Not to mention the horde squeezing in at the other end of the store.

I took a chance and used my left arm to keep the thing’s teeth from clamping down on my neck and pulled the gun with my right. I brought it up to the creature’s temple and squeezed the trigger. The fight went out of it mighty quick. His friend clawed at me, pulling itself closer. I rolled away, pulled myself to my feet, and put a bullet into the thing’s head.

A third zombie, this one a female in the red uniform of an expendable Star Trek crew member, shuffled in through the open back door and I fired off another shot, dropping in down among its companions. I stepped over her, still thinking that the alley was my best option. That idea was quickly shot down by the hundreds of shufflers that crowded about behind the store, most making a beeline for the closest living human being.

That was me.

I jumped back into the hall and tried to slam shut the door. The red clad crew member lying in the doorway made that chore a bit difficult. I kicked and pushed the creature outside and managed to get the door shut and locked before any others could push their way inside.

That was when I heard the moaning behind me. I’d forgotten about the shufflers at the front of the store.

I spun to find half a dozen ambling their way into the hall. I backed against the door and opened fire.

It was a simple process, I squeezed the trigger and zombies fell. I moved forward as I fired, stepping over the bodies as I left the hall for the store itself. Less than a minute later I was empty, but the store had been cleared. All that remained were the mass that still bottlenecked at the front of the store, letting just one in at a time.

Now I had a choice to make. Zombies ahead of me or zombies behind.

To me the choice was simple. The zombies out back couldn’t get to me as long as the door held. I closed the inner door that led to the hallway just in case. That’s two doors the creatures out back would have to get through. But more importantly, the alley was bordered by a high wooden fence on one side, and the strip mall on the other. I had more room to work in the parking lot.

Out front it would have to be.

I inhaled deeply, then exhaled. In through my nose, out through my mouth. In with the good, out with the bad. Three times I breathed; in and then out. I tried to relax and calm my nerves. I didn’t quite reach Nirvana, but I could deal. I ejected the spent magazine from the Glock and replaced it with a fresh one from my vest, dropping the spent one in a pocket to reload later.

Then I turned to face the uncountable undead at the front of the store.

The decaying horde shuffled toward me. I became a machine. Aim, fire. Aim, fire. I shot and the monsters fell.

I fired the last shot and slammed in a fresh magazine. I’d only two left in the vest. Plus the spare Glock in the small of my back.

I’d managed to clear the front of the shop of shufflers and for the moment, I was alone with the comics and the bodies. That wasn’t going to last though. I could see through the front glass wall that the hundreds of others crowding the parking lot were ambling my way. Many had made it to the entrance and were climbing over their fallen zombie brothers and sisters toward the hole in the window. It looked like Black Friday in slow motion.

It was time for a Hail Mary.

You can preorder the book now for your Kindle, Nook, or any other device by clicking the cover below, or going to penguin.steevenorrelse.com.


Wednesday, November 27, 2019

JAF EP057: POWER PACK #19




To celebrate Thanksgiving I wanted to talk about a Thanksgiving comic. That's why this is the episode in which I talk about Power Pack #19 by Louise Simonson, Brent Anderson, Scott Williams, Terry Austin, Scott Williams, Sam de la Rosa, Janet Jackson, and Joe Rosen.

When Katie secretly invites a hoard of Power Pack's hero allies over for Thanksgiving dinner, things quickly spiral out of control…!

Published by Marvel Comics in February 1986.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

More stuff:

The theme song used in each episode is Night Drive by The Oldfield Victory. Find them and their music at theoldfieldvictory.bandcamp.com

Want to help support the show? You can do that in a number of ways:

First, just spread the word. Tell a friend, tell two friends, tell your father, mother, sister, brother, neighbor, coworker, plumber, and even the guy or girl who cuts your hair.

Beyond that you can support Steeven and the show for as little as a dollar a month on Patreon: www.patreon.com/steevenrorr

Or, if the idea of a monthly payment doesn't appeal to you and you just want to throw the show a one time payment, visit ko-fi.com/steevenrorr and buy Steeven and the show a coffee for as little as $3, but as high as you want to go.

Ask me questions, tell me stories, lie to me, speak your truth, make suggestions, or even complain right here: feedback@steevenorrelse.com

Just Another Fanboy is a proud member of the Comics Podcast Network. Find it and more great comic book podcasts at comicspodcasts.com

Monday, November 25, 2019

JAF EP056: ACTION COMICS #584




This is the episode in which I talk about Action Comics #584 by John Byrne, Dick Giordano, Tom Ziuko, and John Costanza

Superman goes on a rampage and when the Teen Titans attempt to interfere he turns against his fellow heroes.

Published by DC Comics in January 1987

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

More stuff:

The theme song used in each episode is Night Drive by The Oldfield Victory. Find them and their music at theoldfieldvictory.bandcamp.com

Want to help support the show? You can do that in a number of ways:

First, just spread the word. Tell a friend, tell two friends, tell your father, mother, sister, brother, neighbor, coworker, plumber, and even the guy or girl who cuts your hair.

Beyond that you can support Steeven and the show for as little as a dollar a month on Patreon: www.patreon.com/steevenrorr

Or, if the idea of a monthly payment doesn't appeal to you and you just want to throw the show a one time payment, visit ko-fi.com/steevenrorr and buy Steeven and the show a coffee for as little as $3, but as high as you want to go.

Ask me questions, tell me stories, lie to me, speak your truth, make suggestions, or even complain right here: feedback@steevenorrelse.com

Just Another Fanboy is a proud member of the Comics Podcast Network. Find it and more great comic book podcasts at comicspodcasts.com

Saturday, November 23, 2019

THE PENGUIN AROUND THE CORNER

December 4th is just around the corner.

Why should you care? Well, December 4th is when my new book, Then a Penguin Walked In and Other Tall Tales, hits the digital shelves for $4.99. But you can preorder it now for just $2.99!

This book collects four novellas into one volume. Three of them I wrote a number of years ago, one of them is new, and I'd like to use this time to talk to you about it. In fact, I'd like to provide you with a bit of a preview.

Going through the book, the four novellas, I wanted to share with you one chapter from each. Not the first chapter from each, as some previews do, but some of my favorites.

First up today is a chapter from the title story, the first to appear in the book, and that's Then a Penguin Walked In. This is Chapter Six: The Stench of Loyalty.

THE DREAD LORD HOB; Scourge of the West, Defiler of the East, Plague of the North, Overlord of the South, and King of the Nighttime World was in a bad mood. But then, abject failure and acts of cowardice perpetrated by his dark legions tended to rub him the wrong way in even the best of situations. And this was not the best of situations.

Lord Hob, who had always thought of himself as a fair and even tempered man, brooded silently to himself as he paced alone inside his command tent. The tent was exactly seven paces wide, and each time he turned to the east side of the tent, he’d walk to his mirror.

It was a glorious mirror. It stood eight feet tall and three feet wide, and each time he would come to it, the Dread Lord would pause and gaze deeply at his reflection. It was the only thing, the sight of himself resplendent in his white armor and black cape, that kept his bad mood from graduating into a full on rage.

Being the fair and even tempered man he’s always thought himself to be, it was uncommon for the Dread Lord Hob to progress any further, emotionally speaking, than an allover feeling of intense annoyance. But today he feared that if he didn’t get himself under control, he would go immediately from his tent and commit horrible acts of violence upon his cowardly horde.

Not that he was opposed to violence, just the opposite. Lord Hob was known far and wide for the brutal and creative ways he’d been known to inflict bodily harm upon others. But he preferred to the one in charge of his emotional self when violence was on the table. If someone was to die by his hand it would be because it was the logical thing to do, not because he was in a tiff.

He paused once more at the mirror and patted at his perfectly cut and sculpted jet black hair. Not a strand out of place. He smiled and resumed pacing.

The Dread Lord Hob was a man who could keep his emotions in check, something he’d always felt a certain sense of pride in, most especially after rising to the title of Overlord of the South when his predecessor, the Dread Lord Glatchington had mysteriously died a most violent, and don’t forget mysterious, death.

The Dread Lord Glatchington was a man who had known about rage, having spent most of his life deep in the thick of it. Lord Hob, Glatchington’s second in command, had borne witness to many a foam-mouthed murder spree in which anyone in reach could find their life snuffed out for no other reason that passing by when Lord Glatchington had dropped a spoon or found his soup too hot.

It was from Glatchington that Lord Hob had learned how not to behave. And so he resisted the urge to give himself over to the rage that skittered within reach. But still, punishments would need to be handed out. Lord Hob would just have to wait until he calmed himself before deciding on what was fair and just.

His pacing brought him once more to his mirror and as before, he paused. He ran a hand over his strong, squared chin. He needed a shave. Yet, the stubble made him look somewhat… roguish? Sure. Rough and tumble? Most assuredly. Sexy? No doubt about it.

Then a stench hit him that would have knocked most men flat on their backsides. But the Dread Lord Hob was not most men. Besides, Lord Hob knew what the stink signified.

Only an ogre could produce such a foul odor.

There came a tentative scratching at the tent flaps and the Dread Lord Hob sighed. The sheer meekness of the act was just the fuel needed for a kill crazy rampage, but Lord Hob kept his head.

“Come,” he said. His voice clear and commanding as he stepped to his chair.

The chair, a throne really, had been ornately carved from a massive block of white marble and needed more than ten men, or four ogres, to carry it about with them from place to place.

As the Dread Lord Hob sat upon his vast throne, the tent flaps parted and an eight foot tall ogre entered on cautious feet. It had skin like craved granite and wore a simple loincloth made from the hide of some unlucky woodland creature. Accompanying the colossus was the nearly overwhelming stink of the thing, which wafted into the tent on swift winds and brought tears to Lord Hob’s eyes.

The amount of ground between the tent opening and the space before Lord Hob’s throne was about six paces for a man of average height. The ogre crossed it in two.

The thing went down on one knee and bowed its head.

Lord Hob tried his best to look down on the ogre in disgust, but truth be told, even kneeling the thing towered over him in his throne.

“Dread Lord,” it began in a voice like a small avalanche. “Captain Branch has arrived.”

The Dread Lord Hob and all of his lofty titles attempted a reply but could only choke on the putrid smell that rose from the creature in great waves.

Ogres make great bodyguards and soldiers for a variety of reasons. First off, at an average height of seven-and-a-half feet and an average weight of four hundred and fifty pounds, the ogre is built like a tower of iron and muscle. You stand a half dozen side to side and you’ve got yourself a fairly impenetrable wall.

Beyond their impressive physical attributes, the ogre is a fiercely loyal creature. They aren’t afraid to die, and the art of killing is so ingrained in their society that it is taught in what would be the ogre equivalent of elementary school. There’s a casual savagery about them that Lord Hob found both chilling and exciting at the same time. They know hundreds of ways to kill, and will at times use combat as a way to compete with each other over which one can find the most creative way to end an enemy’s life.

The problem with ogres, the extent of which cannot be stressed enough, is that they stink. Like nobody’s business.

Ogres don’t believe in soap. Or water. Or adding soap to water, heating it to near intolerable temperatures, immersing their tough, leathery bodies into it, then wasting away the evening with a favorite book and a good, long soak. Ogres have no word for bath, or tub; not to mention wash, scrub, rinse, or even loofah. It is said that nothing precedes an army of ogres like the stench, the likes of which can often be enough to drive an occupied force out from behind the walls in which they have become entrenched.

But Lord Hob could stomach a great many things, and he often prided himself on his preternatural ability to enclose himself in a small room with three or four ogres and resist the urge to vomit. He was, in fact, known for it. So, he choked back his desire to send this particular ogre off to dunk itself in the nearest body of water, and found the strength to respond.

“Send him in, soldier.”

The Dread Lord Hob didn’t know the ogre’s name, nor did he particularly want to. It was bad enough having to put up with their stink, so remembering the names of each of his personal guards seemed to him to be a little much. He had more important matters to occupy his brain.

Captain Branch entered the tent with more than a little trepidation. The Captain was not an ogre. While Lord Hob could fully depend on the ogres to keep him safe or to depopulate a village, they didn’t quite have the intelligence for leading others, and Lord Hob believed in putting the right people in right positions.

Branch, the Captain of the Dread Lord Hob’s armies was one of his lizard men, created by magic in the jungles of the South, and bred for war. He wore mail over leather, but no boots. The feet of the lizard men had such thick soles that footwear was not required. Besides, their razor-like toe claws kept poking through whatever they tried to put on their feet.

Captain Branch had a small sword belted at his waist and he moved it aside with one clawed hand has he knelt.

“I come as bidden, Dread Lord,” the Captain said, his eyes on the floor.

“Rise, Captain,” Lord Hob said. “And tell me how fares the battle.” He knew quite well how the battle had gone. “I hear not the clash of sword nor the screams of the dying. Has the fighting stopped?”

“It has, Dread Lord.” The Captain rose, but his gaze remained on the floor.

“Why, Captain? Have we won?”

“No, Dread Lord. We are in retreat.”

“Yes, Captain Branch, I know that we are in retreat. That was a test. I thank you, however, for telling me the truth. As a reward, you will continue to remain among the living.”

“Thank you, Dread Lord,” Captain Branch said, sounding as if he had just taken his first breath since entering the tent.

“Think nothing of it, good Captain. Now I bid you to tell me why my army has retreated.”

“We were winning,” Branch said.

“Yes, we were. And quite gloriously.”

“But then something happened.”

“Something happened?” Lord Hob said. “Something?”

“Something unexpected.”

“Something,” Lord Hob repeated. “Unexpected.”

“Some one, actually.”

“Pray tell, Captain. Just who was this unexpected someone that caused my army, the grandest army in all of Gund, to flee before their terrible might?”

Captain Branch did not answer right away. Instead he kicked at rocks that did not exist, shrugged his shoulders a time or two, and even threw out the occasional “um” before stammering out his intelligible response.

“I’m sorry,” Lord Hob said. “You’re going to have to speak up, old boy. I didn’t quite catch that.”

The Captain cleared his throat. “It was The One, Dread Lord.”

Now it was Lord Hob’s turn to try his hand at speechlessness.

The silence hung in the air between them like a two ton mime. Lord Hob stared at Captain Branch as the Captain continued his intense scrutiny of the carpet fibers.

“The One?” Lord Hob said at last.

“Yes, Dread Lord.”

“That’s impossible.”

“He bore the Sword of Power, Dread Lord.”

“He?” Lord Hob said. “A human?”

“Yes, Dread Lord. He is said to have appeared suddenly in the midst of battle. He wore strange clothing but wielded the Sword. He called down lightening and our army ran.”

“Then Commander Jund’s mission to the Ancient World failed,” Lord Hob said.

“It appears so, Dread Lord.”

The Dread Lord Hob; Scourge of the West, Defiler of the East, Plague of the North, Overlord of the South, and King of the Nighttime World stepped down from his throne and resumed his pacing, his hands clasped behind his back.

“Well then,” Lord Hob said as the Captain tore his eyes from the floor to watch his master pace. “It appears that I have no choice but to take matters into my own hands.”

“Lord?”

“If The One has been reborn, and if he brings with him the full might of the Sword of Power, then I am the only one powerful enough to face him in combat.” He turned to the tent flap. “Guard,” he called.

The ogre entered, bowing.

“Yes, Dread Lord,” it said.

“Fetch me my sword.”

“Souleater?” the ogre said with a gasp.

“The same,” Lord Hob said.

“At once, Dread Lord.” The ogre bowed and rushed out on its task.

“Captain, prepare the army, we strike at dawn.”

“Yes, Dread Lord. At once.”

The Captain made to leave.

“Oh, and Captain,” Lord Hob said, stopping Captain Branch at the flap.

“Yes, Dread Lord?”

“Ready my dragon.”

You can preorder the book now for your Kindle, Nook, or any other device by clicking the cover below, or going to penguin.steevenorrelse.com.


Friday, November 22, 2019

JAF EP055: THE QUESTION - THE DEATHS OF VIC SAGE #1




This is the episode in which I talk about The Question: The Deaths of Vic Sage by Jeff Lemire, Denys Cowan, Bill Sienkiewicz, Chris Sotomeyer, and Willie Schubert.

For years, Vic Sage has worn the faceless mask of the Question to clean up the streets of Hub City by sheer force of will. He knows right from wrong. He knows black from white. But what happens when he is drawn into a conspiracy that reaches from the heights of Hub City power to the depths of its underground tunnels? What happens when things stop being black-and-white and start getting a little gray? And what happens when, in a secret chamber deep beneath the city, Vic Sage meets his own end...and his new beginning?

Published by DC Black Label on November 20, 2019.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

More stuff:

The theme song used in each episode is Night Drive by The Oldfield Victory. Find them and their music at theoldfieldvictory.bandcamp.com

Want to help support the show? You can do that in a number of ways:

First, just spread the word. Tell a friend, tell two friends, tell your father, mother, sister, brother, neighbor, coworker, plumber, and even the guy or girl who cuts your hair.

Beyond that you can support Steeven and the show for as little as a dollar a month on Patreon: www.patreon.com/steevenrorr

Or, if the idea of a monthly payment doesn't appeal to you and you just want to throw the show a one time payment, visit ko-fi.com/steevenrorr and buy Steeven and the show a coffee for as little as $3, but as high as you want to go.

Ask me questions, tell me stories, lie to me, speak your truth, make suggestions, or even complain right here: feedback@steevenorrelse.com

Just Another Fanboy is a proud member of the Comics Podcast Network. Find it and more great comic book podcasts at comicspodcasts.com

Wednesday, November 20, 2019

JAF EP054: NEW MATH IS STUPID




This is the episode in which I talk about The Mandalorian Chapter 2: The Child. Which leads me to talk about watching the Marvel movies on Disney Plus. Which somehow brought out my grumpy old man and I end up complaining about new math and analog clocks.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

More stuff:

The theme song used in each episode is Night Drive by The Oldfield Victory. Find them and their music at theoldfieldvictory.bandcamp.com

Want to help support the show? You can do that in a number of ways:

First, just spread the word. Tell a friend, tell two friends, tell your father, mother, sister, brother, neighbor, coworker, plumber, and even the guy or girl who cuts your hair.

Beyond that you can support Steeven and the show for as little as a dollar a month on Patreon: www.patreon.com/steevenrorr

Or, if the idea of a monthly payment doesn't appeal to you and you just want to throw the show a one time payment, visit ko-fi.com/steevenrorr and buy Steeven and the show a coffee for as little as $3, but as high as you want to go.

Ask me questions, tell me stories, lie to me, speak your truth, make suggestions, or even complain right here: feedback@steevenorrelse.com

Just Another Fanboy is a proud member of the Comics Podcast Network. Find it and more great comic book podcasts at comicspodcasts.com

Monday, November 18, 2019

JAF EP053: THE MIGHTY THOR #337




This is the episode in which I talk about The Mighty Thor #337 by Walter Simonson.

Nick Fury asks Thor's aid in investigating an alien ship heading for Earth. Thor arrives and triggers the awakening of an alien protector, Beta Ray Bill. But when Bill bests Thor and takes up his hammer, he is summoned to Asgard by Odin!

Published by Marvel Comics on November 10, 1983.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

More stuff:

The theme song used in each episode is Night Drive by The Oldfield Victory. Find them and their music at theoldfieldvictory.bandcamp.com

Want to help support the show? You can do that in a number of ways:

First, just spread the word. Tell a friend, tell two friends, tell your father, mother, sister, brother, neighbor, coworker, plumber, and even the guy or girl who cuts your hair.

Beyond that you can support Steeven and the show for as little as a dollar a month on Patreon: www.patreon.com/steevenrorr

Or, if the idea of a monthly payment doesn't appeal to you and you just want to throw the show a one time payment, visit ko-fi.com/steevenrorr and buy Steeven and the show a coffee for as little as $3, but as high as you want to go.

Ask me questions, tell me stories, lie to me, speak your truth, make suggestions, or even complain right here: feedback@steevenorrelse.com

Just Another Fanboy is a proud member of the Comics Podcast Network. Find it and more great comic book podcasts at comicspodcasts.com

Friday, November 15, 2019

JAF EP052: FOLKLORDS #1




This is the episode in which I talk about Folklords #1 by Matt Kindt, Matt Smith, Chris O'Halloran, and Jim Campbell. Published by Boom Comics on Wednesday, November 13, 2019.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

More stuff:

The theme song used in each episode is Night Drive by The Oldfield Victory. Find them and their music at theoldfieldvictory.bandcamp.com

Want to help support the show? You can do that in a number of ways:

First, just spread the word. Tell a friend, tell two friends, tell your father, mother, sister, brother, neighbor, coworker, plumber, and even the guy or girl who cuts your hair.

Beyond that you can support Steeven and the show for as little as a dollar a month on Patreon: www.patreon.com/steevenrorr

Or, if the idea of a monthly payment doesn't appeal to you and you just want to throw the show a one time payment, visit ko-fi.com/steevenrorr and buy Steeven and the show a coffee for as little as $3, but as high as you want to go.

Ask me questions, tell me stories, lie to me, speak your truth, make suggestions, or even complain right here: feedback@steevenorrelse.com

Just Another Fanboy is a proud member of the Comics Podcast Network. Find it and more great comic book podcasts at comicspodcasts.com

Wednesday, November 13, 2019

JAF EP051: THE MANDALORIAN




This is the episode in which I talk about the Mandalorian which launched on the Disney Plus streaming service on Tuesday, November 12, 2019.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

More stuff:

The theme song used in each episode is Night Drive by The Oldfield Victory. Find them and their music at theoldfieldvictory.bandcamp.com

Want to help support the show? You can do that in a number of ways:

First, just spread the word. Tell a friend, tell two friends, tell your father, mother, sister, brother, neighbor, coworker, plumber, and even the guy or girl who cuts your hair.

Beyond that you can support Steeven and the show for as little as a dollar a month on Patreon: www.patreon.com/steevenrorr

Or, if the idea of a monthly payment doesn't appeal to you and you just want to throw the show a one time payment, visit ko-fi.com/steevenrorr and buy Steeven and the show a coffee for as little as $3, but as high as you want to go.

Here is the address to complain to: feedback@steevenorrelse.com

Just Another Fanboy is a proud member of the Comics Podcast Network. Find it and more great comic book podcasts at comicspodcasts.com

Tuesday, November 12, 2019

STEEVEN ORR ELSE #12 - ROCK-N-ROLL ZOMBIES!




First you get some Franks and Bean's, then I talk about how things always gotta be changing, then I throw a comic at you call Kiss Zombies!

Duck!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

More stuff:

The theme song used in each episode is Theme Orr Else, written and performed by Derek Neibarger of Atomic Zombie Records. Find him and his music at atomiczombierecords.bandcamp.com

Want to help support the show? You can do that in a number of ways:

First, just spread the word. Tell a friend, tell two friends, tell your father, mother, sister, brother, neighbor, coworker, plumber, and even the guy or girl who cuts your hair.

Beyond that you can support Steeven and the show for as little as a dollar a month on Patreon: www.patreon.com/steevenrorr

Or, if the idea of a monthly payment doesn't appeal to you and you just want to throw the show a one time payment, visit ko-fi.com/steevenrorr and buy Steeven and the show a coffee for as little as $3, but as high as you want to go.

Here is the address to complain to: feedback@steevenorrelse.com

Steeven Orr Else is a proud member of the Comics Podcast Network. Find it and more great comic book podcasts at comicspodcasts.com

Pre-order my book, Then a Penguin Walked In and Other Tall Tales at penguin.steevenorrelse.com

Monday, November 11, 2019

JAF EP050: UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY #1




This is the episode in which I talk about Undiscovered Country #1 by Scott Snyder, Charles Soule, Giuseppe Camuncoli, Daniele Orlandini, Matt Wilson, and Crank! Published by Image Comics on November 6, 2019.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

More stuff:

The theme song used in each episode is Night Drive by The Oldfield Victory. Find them and their music at theoldfieldvictory.bandcamp.com

Want to help support the show? You can do that in a number of ways:

First, just spread the word. Tell a friend, tell two friends, tell your father, mother, sister, brother, neighbor, coworker, plumber, and even the guy or girl who cuts your hair.

Beyond that you can support Steeven and the show for as little as a dollar a month on Patreon: www.patreon.com/steevenrorr

Or, if the idea of a monthly payment doesn't appeal to you and you just want to throw the show a one time payment, visit ko-fi.com/steevenrorr and buy Steeven and the show a coffee for as little as $3, but as high as you want to go.

Here is the address to complain to: feedback@steevenorrelse.com

Just Another Fanboy is a proud member of the Comics Podcast Network. Find it and more great comic book podcasts at comicspodcasts.com

Pre-order my book, Then a Penguin Walked In and Other Tall Tales at penguin.steevenorrelse.com

Friday, November 8, 2019

JAF EP049: FROM THE COUCH




Hey, kids! It's another stream of consciousness episode in which I sit on a couch and just talk. Beyond the terrible rhyming you're going to get a bewildering variety of topics such as my thoughts on Stumptown, the wireless remotes to a PS4, why you can't find me on Facebook, updating nursery rhymes, more Stumptown, and much, much more!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

More stuff:

The theme song used in each episode is Night Drive by The Oldfield Victory. Find them and their music at theoldfieldvictory.bandcamp.com

Want to help support the show? You can do that in a number of ways:

First, just spread the word. Tell a friend, tell two friends, tell your father, mother, sister, brother, neighbor, coworker, plumber, and even the guy or girl who cuts your hair.

Beyond that you can support Steeven and the show for as little as a dollar a month on Patreon: www.patreon.com/steevenrorr

Or, if the idea of a monthly payment doesn't appeal to you and you just want to throw the show a one time payment, visit ko-fi.com/steevenrorr and buy Steeven and the show a coffee for as little as $3, but as high as you want to go.

Here is the address to complain to: feedback@steevenorrelse.com

Just Another Fanboy is a proud member of the Comics Podcast Network. Find it and more great comic book podcasts at comicspodcasts.com

Pre-order my book, Then a Penguin Walked In and Other Tall Tales at penguin.steevenorrelse.com

Thursday, November 7, 2019

JAF EP048: BIRTHRIGHT #1




This is the episode in which I talk about Birthright #1 by Joshua Williamson, Andrei Bressan, and Adriano Lucas. Published by Image Comics on October 8, 2014.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

More stuff:

The theme song used in each episode is Night Drive by The Oldfield Victory. Find them and their music at theoldfieldvictory.bandcamp.com

Want to help support the show? You can do that in a number of ways:

First, just spread the word. Tell a friend, tell two friends, tell your father, mother, sister, brother, neighbor, coworker, plumber, and even the guy or girl who cuts your hair.

Beyond that you can support Steeven and the show for as little as a dollar a month on Patreon: www.patreon.com/steevenrorr

Or, if the idea of a monthly payment doesn't appeal to you and you just want to throw the show a one time payment, visit ko-fi.com/steevenrorr and buy Steeven and the show a coffee for as little as $3, but as high as you want to go.

Here is the address to complain to: feedback@steevenorrelse.com

Just Another Fanboy is a proud member of the Comics Podcast Network. Find it and more great comic book podcasts at comicspodcasts.com

Pre-order my book, Then a Penguin Walked In and Other Tall Tales at penguin.steevenorrelse.com

Wednesday, November 6, 2019

JAF EP047: INTO THE BADLANDS




This is the episode in which I talk about Into the Badlands, a post apocalyptic television series which aired on AMC from 2015 - 2019 and starred Daniel Wu, Nick Frost, Aramis Knight, and Emily Beecham.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

More stuff:

The theme song used in each episode is Night Drive by The Oldfield Victory. Find them and their music at theoldfieldvictory.bandcamp.com

Want to help support the show? You can do that in a number of ways:

First, just spread the word. Tell a friend, tell two friends, tell your father, mother, sister, brother, neighbor, coworker, plumber, and even the guy or girl who cuts your hair.

Beyond that you can support Steeven and the show for as little as a dollar a month on Patreon: www.patreon.com/steevenrorr

Or, if the idea of a monthly payment doesn't appeal to you and you just want to throw the show a one time payment, visit ko-fi.com/steevenrorr and buy Steeven and the show a coffee for as little as $3, but as high as you want to go.

Here is the address to complain to: feedback@steevenorrelse.com

Just Another Fanboy is a proud member of the Comics Podcast Network. Find it and more great comic book podcasts at comicspodcasts.com

Pre-order my book, Then a Penguin Walked In and Other Tall Tales at penguin.steevenorrelse.com

Tuesday, November 5, 2019

JAF EP046: MY FAVORITE PODCASTS PART 2




This is the episode in which I talk about more of the podcasts I listen to every day.

Shows mentioned on this episode:

Half Hour Wasted
Infamous America
Legends of the Old West
Middle Aged Geek
The Chop Shop
The Daily Rios
Ronin Rabbit
The Sell More Books Show
Voyage to the Stars
WTF with Marc Maron

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The theme song used in each episode is Night Drive by The Oldfield Victory. Find them and their music at theoldfieldvictory.bandcamp.com

Want to help support the show? You can do that in a number of ways:

First, just spread the word. Tell a friend, tell two friends, tell your father, mother, sister, brother, neighbor, coworker, plumber, and even the guy or girl who cuts your hair.

Beyond that you can support Steeven and the show for as little as a dollar a month on Patreon: www.patreon.com/steevenrorr

Or, if the idea of a monthly payment doesn't appeal to you and you just want to throw the show a one time payment, visit ko-fi.com/steevenrorr and buy Steeven and the show a coffee for as little as $3, but as high as you want to go.

Here is the address to complain to: feedback@steevenorrelse.com

Just Another Fanboy is a proud member of the Comics Podcast Network. Find it and more great comic book podcasts at comicspodcasts.com


Monday, November 4, 2019

JAF EP045: G.I. JOE #1 (2019)




This is the episode in which I talk about G.I. Joe #1 by Paul Allor, Chris Evenhuis, Brittany Peer, Neil Uyetake, and Bobby Curnow. This issue was published by IDW on September 18, 2019.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

More stuff:

The theme song used in each episode is Night Drive by The Oldfield Victory. Find them and their music at theoldfieldvictory.bandcamp.com

Want to help support the show? You can do that in a number of ways:

First, just spread the word. Tell a friend, tell two friends, tell your father, mother, sister, brother, neighbor, coworker, plumber, and even the guy or girl who cuts your hair.

Beyond that you can support Steeven and the show for as little as a dollar a month on Patreon: www.patreon.com/steevenrorr

Or, if the idea of a monthly payment doesn't appeal to you and you just want to throw the show a one time payment, visit ko-fi.com/steevenrorr and buy Steeven and the show a coffee for as little as $3, but as high as you want to go.

Here is the address to complain to: feedback@steevenorrelse.com

Just Another Fanboy is a proud member of the Comics Podcast Network. Find it and more great comic book podcasts at comicspodcasts.com

Friday, November 1, 2019

JAF EP044: NIGHT OF THE MULLETS




This is the episode in which I talk about Night of the Mullets, a five issue comic from Boaz Dror, Valentin Ramon, and Dezi Sienti.

Back the Kickstarter by clicking this link.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

More stuff:

The theme song used in each episode is Night Drive by The Oldfield Victory. Find them and their music at theoldfieldvictory.bandcamp.com

Want to help support the show? You can do that in a number of ways:

First, just spread the word. Tell a friend, tell two friends, tell your father, mother, sister, brother, neighbor, coworker, plumber, and even the guy or girl who cuts your hair.

Beyond that you can support Steeven and the show for as little as a dollar a month on Patreon: www.patreon.com/steevenrorr

Or, if the idea of a monthly payment doesn't appeal to you and you just want to throw the show a one time payment, visit ko-fi.com/steevenrorr and buy Steeven and the show a coffee for as little as $3, but as high as you want to go.

Here is the address to complain to: feedback@steevenorrelse.com

Just Another Fanboy is a proud member of the Comics Podcast Network. Find it and more great comic book podcasts at comicspodcasts.com